The Gothic Existance of Rain Bennett
by TigerAnnie
Summary: Angela is shy and geeky, until she is turned at a fateful party. How will she cope with her new life and new body in the same boring old Forks? This is an alternative interpretation of the events of TwilightRova's "The Kronikals of Rebecca Swansin". "Enjoy"!
1. Chapter 1

**Angela the Vampire**

Angela was at a party. She felt like crap. All the other girls were prettier than her, and that made her feel shitty. She was drinking loads to forget about it.

Suddenly a very sexy guy with a pony tail and really hot six-pack (of abs, she didn't like beer so she drank cider) and no shirt on came over to her.

"What is a lovely young lady doing here in a great depression all alone?" he asked sympathetically like a spider.

"Oh, I'm just resting my feet," said Angela who didn't want the hot guy to think she was a wallpaperflower or anything!

"My name is James," said the hottie. "Wanna go for a walk in the moonlight?"

Angela couldn't believe that this super handsome sexy dude wanted to go for a romantic moonlit walk with her, of all the girls present. She didn't need to be asked twice. He took her hand, and they walked outside and into the forest. Suddenly she felt a pain in her neck, as if something was biting her, and the world turned black.

When she woke up, she had the hang-over of her life, and it seemed to last for days. She finally managed to scramble to her feet and head home. On the way she noticed several posters about a missing girl who looked very much like her, but she was too worried about what her parents were going to do to her to really notice what her name was or anything.

She managed to sneak in through an open window, and headed for the shower. There was something weird about her skin, she realized. Must be a reaction to alcohol. She had never been that drunk before. Then she saw her reflection in the mirror.

Oh her gawsh, she was fucking beautiful!11! Her face looked completely different; Her nose was smaller and straighter, her lips fuller, her chin more defined and her cheekbones high and regal. Also her hair had changed. It wasn't regular curly anymore, but falling around her face and shoulders in soft, silken waves like the feathers of a raven in a midnight rosegarden in the moonlight. The only thing not so pretty was her eyes, that were fucking red. But that was probably to be expected after a night on the binge.

Her body was different too! It looked like her boobs had grown two sizes from B to D, but they were super perky and bouncy. She was thinner and more muscular all over, probably a perfect size 4 now. A sudden realization dawned on her: This was why all the bad girls were so pretty! Alcohol made them that way! She couldn't wait to see the faces of Lauren and Jessica!

She threw on some clothes and sunglasses and went shopping. Now that she had the perfect body, she was deffo going to show it off. She bought herself several pairs of skinny jeans and a couple of leather pants, a few mini skirts, corsets, sexy tops and short dresses. Most of it was black and pink, her favourite colour combo. SEXXXXXXAAAHHHH!

She also got some brown contacts, since her awful red eyes were pretty unsightly.

Angela chose a pair of leather shorts and a sexy laced bra with pink ribbon roses on to wear for her first day as her new self. Then she called Lauren and asked her to meet her at the park to "talk about homework".

Lauren looked dreadful. She totally didn't hold liquor as well as Angela. Come to think of it, she had always been a little ugly anyway. Her nose was too big.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Lauren asked preppily when she saw Angela. "You look like a slut!"

Angela felt a consuming rage consuming her. How dare she speak to her like that, when it was perfectly clear that she was much hotter and more beautiful than Lauren would ever be! Suddenly a burning desire seized her like a lion that has seen a juicy gazella. She lunged for Lauren and sank her teeth into her neck like Atlantis. Shocked she realized that Lauren's preppy blood tasted like strawberry sauce. It was so good she couldn't help herself, she drained her bone dry.

Licking her lips, she looked down at Lauren's shrivelled corpse on the ground. It was hard to believe that this had been the queen bee of Forks High less than five minutes earlier. Lauren looked so bloody ugly lying there, like a blow-up doll that the air had gone out of. Angela laughed and walked gothically away.

At home there wasn't much fun. Her parents demanded to know where she had been the last three days. Crap. Turned out she was that kid on the missing posters. She spun them a tale about how a guy with a pony tail had kidnapped her and held her captive in an old warehouse where he wanted her to dress sexily and write his autobiography on an antique type-writer, like that one time on Midsomer Murders. They believed her. Pheewww.

The police also believed her. Of course someone had found Lauren's empty skin in the park, and the police were wondering if there could be a connection. Hopefully they would never figure out exactly how that connection worked. Who would believe that innocent little Angela, who got straight A's and never made trouble, had drunk someone's blood?

School was fun for the next couple of weeks. Because of her sexy new look, she got all the attention that had earlier been reserved for Bella. And no queen bitch Lauren to make her life suck.

Then of course Edward Fucking Cullen had to come back after one of the posh hunting trips the Cullen brats were constantly allowed to go to.

"Angela," he said with a very serious face, "You are a vampire."

Shit.

Thankfully, her parents were so tired of all the attention they got, and the reporters camping in their garden constantly wanting to borrow the bathroom and kitchen, that they moved. They found a quaint little house in the middle of the Washington Rainforest. Angela wondered if it could be true that she was a vampire. Sure enough, she had enjoyed the taste of Lauren's blood, but she didn't burn in the sunshine or faint when she saw a garlic.

Living in the forest, she soon discovered that hunting was fun, though. There were enough deer around their house. If she felt really adventurous, she went for a moose. She discovered that she could jump several feet, outrun most living creatures and be tossed down ravines without even getting a scratch. If this was what being a vampire was like, she wasn't going to complain.

She kept in touch with her old friends. Mike, in particular. He was cute, but she had never had a chance with him before, because he had eyes only for Bella. She was happy as anything when he finally called to ask her to the movies. He wouldn't be able to resist her now, he would be hers!

She dressed in a sexy corseted dress that barely covered her ass, did her hair up impossibly glamourously, and skipped make-up because it only made her uglier. Then she slipped on a modest, floral dress on top, so her parents wouldn't complain. As soon as she was out of sight, she pulled the flowery dress up and hid it in the garage. Then she ran super fast all the way to Forks.

The film was probably good. She couldn't really tell, because she was making out with Mike during most of it. He smelled like chocolate cake with cherry filling, and she had to fight hard with herself not to take a bite out of him. After the movie they went for a drive in his car, in the moonlit forest.

They stopped at a clearing and started making out under a hug oak. Suddenly Mike grabbed her boobs.

"Oh Angelaaaaahhhh!" he moaned in unicorn, "You are so sexah!"

"Stop grabbing my boobies, you perv!" Angela shouted. She might be sexy as a centerfold now, but she was still an inexperienced school girl who didn't appreciate this sort of behaviour.

"Your body drives me insane!" Mike screamed, squeezing her ass.

The blood lust overwhelmed her. She bit him in the jagular and started sucking his blood and marrow out. It really did taste like slightly underdone chocolate cake with cherry sauce. So much better than deer, which tasted like diet raspberry pop at best. After draining him dry she ate his bones. They tasted like fish and chips. She tossed his skin to a hungry badger.

She felt bad about eating Mike. After all, she had liked him a fuckload. She felt depressed and lonely, and started skipping school. Now that she was a creature of the dark, she realised that "Angela" wasn't a fitting name for her anymore. She decided that her new name should be Rain, because her soul was crying all the time. Rain Cordelia Anguish Irmengarde Woe Bennett. That was her true self.

Her parents didn't mind her wanting to be home schooled, because she was causing quite a lot of disturbancies at school. She was so hot that everyone wanted her body. Except the Cullens, who were totally stuck up snobs and thought they were better than everybody.

Her next victim was purely accidental. Eric fell on his bike and cut his knee. Rain couldn't help drinking all his blood. It was like a drug to her. She had befriended a large, fluffy wolverine in the forest, and it took care of the evidencenze for her. What was left of Eric went down in two hungry bites. She loved that animal so much!

When she sat up all night watching Animal Planet and other depressing horror movies, Rain often thought of James, the sexy bugger who was to blame for all of this. Sometimes she wouldn't mind having her old life back, and just being plain old geeky Angela who always stood in the shadow of Lauren, Jessie, Bella... Oh hell no! She wasn't going to stand in the shadow of Bella! She was Rain Bennett, the most beautiful and tormented girl in the Pacific North-West.

Rain's father could take out early retirement the next year, and her parents decided to go on a round-the-world expedition. Because Rain still cared about them, and was really worried about pirates, tigers and ebola, she turned them into vampires before they left. They became a lot more understanding after that.

Rain was lonely and miserable in Forks. She had mostly lost contact with her old friends, and spent more and more time with her animal companions; Ripp the wolverine, Bruce the grizzly and Frank the wolf. She had a special talent for talking to animals. They told her dreadful tales about how the Cullens were upsetting the natural balance by taking out the top predators. Bruce had lost much of his family thanks to Emmett, who had some deadly grudge against his kind.

One night when Rain was watching telly, with Frank curled up by her feet and Ripp snuggled up next to her on the sofa (poor Bruce was too big to get in), she heard a knock on the window. She went to look.

It was James! Now that she saw him through vampire eyes, he was even more gorgeous than she remembered.

"Oh, Rain," he said, with his eyes full of sorrow and despair. "I have been thinking of you ever since the night we first met. You are the true love of my life, my one soul mate. Victoria that bitch was a mistake, and she's cheating on me with Laurent anyway. Please forgive me, Rain, my eternal love. I'll do anything for you if only you'll be my girl."

How could anyone resist such beautifully heartfelt words. She let him in, and one thing led to another. They had amazing marvellous sexy sex, and Rain felt happy for the first time in her life. Now that she had a true mate, life was looking to be a lot more fun.

They decided to go to a concert in Seattle. James had a sexy, black BMW that he could drive at warp speed. It only took 10 minutes to get there. They didn't have tickets, so James hypnotized the guards to do the chicken dance. It was really fun to look at. The concert was amazing. Rain hadn't quite noticed what band it was, but they were some sort of gothic emo type, and really sexah. James noticed her staring at the muscular, shirtless guitar player, and looked jealous.

"Don't worry darling," she said. "He's not hotter than you."

Then they made out passionatively, and everyone thought they were a really cute couple.

As they exited the venue, they saw an ugly face. It was Jessica, looking mad as fuckity. Rain could see that she had turned emo now that she didn't have any friends left. She had straightened her hair, and dyed neon green streaks in it. Her eyes were encircled in black paint, and she was making duck-face.

"I know you have something to do with all my friends being dead!" she said, pointing her finger accusingly at Rain. "I'll go to the police."

"All your friends are NOT dead," Rain hissed. "You still have Bella."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Bella who constantly tries to get us both killed, and drops me like a hot potato as soon as that nasty corpse-boy of her shows up."

"Not like Lauren ever treated you like an equal anyway," Rain said, trying to get away from Jessie. "You are better off without her. Now you have a chance to get people to think you are pretty."

"Oh hell!" Jessie shouted. "I was always prettier than Lauren! She was no threat to me. You killed her, Angie! I know you did!"

"My name is Rain!", said Rain. "I have no idea what you are talking about stranger! Begone!"

"Murderer!" Jessie shouted.

James clamped his strong, masculine and shapely hand over her mouth, and dragged her away. When Rain caught up with him, he was already drinking her blood.

"Good riddance," Rain said. "We'll let Bruce get the rest of her, since we couldn't take him to the concert."

"No," said James. "I've not killed her. We need a slave, so I've injected her with venom."

"Kawaii Desu!" shouted Rain.

THEN SHE REALIZED SOMETHING...!


	2. Chapter 2

THEN SHE REALIZED SUMFFIN!1+1!

"James you cowfu****!" she screamed in agony and heartbreak! "You made her a vampire, now she's goingto be more beautifool than moi!"

She threw herself onto the ground and sobbed in socio-naturalistic despair.

"No, no, thah could nevber happen!" James assured her, as he tossed her ocer his other shoulder like a bag of beans. "Nobody could ever be more beautiful than you, who are the Queen of Elves dancing with the Unicorns!"

Rain dried her tears, and looked ofer at Jessie, who was rabbising from the mouth and generally looked shite. Her eyes were Xs, like on Pokemon, and her thongue was hanging out.

At home they tossed Jessie into the laundry rOom to sit out her tranformersazion, then they went upstairs and had sex for the next three days. It was very gothick romantically.

When Jessie woke up, they fed her some leftover moose blood (it was mixed with ketchup, because they hadn't been hunting cause they had been busy, so there was little food in the house) and dressed her in a black and white maid outfit like on Dontown Abbey. Then she had to wash the house while they went out hunting.

Suddenly Rain's ugly-sensor started tingling like a bad mosquito bite on the eyeball. (A/N that would bloody hurt!) She followed it in the direction of the Swan house. She saw an incredibly nasty looking girl who was so deff not Bella. This girl had really fake blonde hair with a lot of regrowth, a nose the size of a baked potato, thin lips that were curved in an upside-down U shape, and small pig eyes of different shapes. She had so many zits that it looked like a pizza had barfed all over her face. Her ears were like satellite discs on the sides of her head. She wore a fishnet top over a grandmother bikini and neon pink stillettos.

"Who's that ugly poser?" Rain asked, trying hard not to lose her lunch.

"That is Rebecca Swansin", James explained logically. "She's a loser cousin Charlie had to take in because her parents killed themselves because she was so ugly!"

"Harkimashito!" Rain said in Japanese, it means "I totally understand why!"

Suddenly they heard something behind them! It was... ...a twig that snapped. Rain spun around at warp speed.

It was just Bella. She looked scared for some strange reason.

"Don't be afraid!" said Rain. "We're not going to hurt you."

Bella looked sceptically at her. "They say you are a vampire now," she said. "And that you have killed half of the students in our year."

"Slight exaggeration," Rain explained. "And it was totally an accident. How's life with your cousin?"

Bella sighed. "It's hell!" she said. "There is something really wrong with Becca, like she's on another planet. She's been saying all these crazy things about me, like I'm supposed to be whoring myself out in the garage! Edward dumped me when he heard that. So now I'm with Jacob BTW. And she thinks she's so sexy that nobody can resist her. Well, you've seen what she looks like."

"We have," said James, making a face like he'd just been goatse'd. "Would you like us to help you get rid of her. She's wasting valuable oxygen by existing!" (A/N I can't believe I just referenced SAMMY! What is this world coming to?)

"I don't want you to kill her," Bella said. "She is a total nightmare, but I don't think I could live with that."

"We could scare her away," Rain suggested. "Let her think we intended to kill her, so that she'd move away of her own free will."

"That would be great," said Bella. "But... I'm not even sure it would work. She's completely Martian, and has no clue what is really going on. She thinks she's dating Edward, but he really hates her."

"I'll at least try," said Rain. "Just for old times' sake. You used to be a good friend, when you weren't breaking all your promises to go hang with Edward instead."

"Thanks!" said Bella. "I better get home before she does anything spectacular. And don't believe anything you hear about me!"

They went home and told Jessie she could take a break from the maiding. Then they all sat down and watched a documentary about the Brazilian banana slug. It really looked like Rebecca.

"So, do we do something about that bitch Rebecca, tomorrow?" Jessie asked. She had gotten used to being a vampire now, and she was really happy that the streaks in her hair had become fluorescent.

"Yeah, we'll strike after lunch," Rain confirmed. "What class do you have then?"

"English," said Jessie. "Becca goes to the bathroom between every class to smear on some more clown paint."

"I'll be waiting for her," Rain said with a smile.

The next day they drove to Forks High and mingled into the crowds of kids coming back from lunch. Jessie went to English class, pretending she had just been sick for couple of days. She was going to text Rain about what was going on.

Rain hid in a toilet cubicle until she felt her ugliness sensor start to beeeeeeeep again. She peered out from behind the door, and saw Becca coming in with tears and make-up running down her acne-face. She pulled a big tube of black pain out of her bag, and started making panda eyes. Then she took out another tube, this one yellow, and made tiger stripes on the panda paint. It looked really hideous!

After picassoing herself, Becca went to the toilet. Rain used the oportunity to sneak out silently like a brontosaur on roller skates in a museum. Suddenly... Becca started screaming her head off. Then she came running out of the toilet stall naked! It was disgusting! She clutched a blow-up doll with a picture of Edward's face stuck on it.

"Oh no!" she squeaked when she noticed Rain, and scrambled back into the toilet.

"Oh YES!" said Rain, smiling like a Chesire vampire. (A/N LOL it rhymes!)

"DAMMIT!" Becca said loudly from inside the stall. "I don't even know how to escape. I fucking HATE all of you bitches!"

Rain started walking towards her, making sure her stilettos click-clacked against the floor with each step. She felt so fucking Femme Fatale it was a turn on!

"NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Becca screamed pathetically from inside the shitter. "Don't kill me! Kill BELLA! She's a whoring slut, and nobody LIEKS her! Pleeeeez kill HER not ME you FUCKER!"

Rain could see Becca slithering like the slug she was along the floor and crawl into the next stall. This was awesomely fun! Rain hadn't laughed so hard since she accidentally ate Lauren.

"EDWARD? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? YOU BITCH!" Rebecca screamed. Rain looked at the inflatable Edward that Becca had dropped on the floor. She picked it up and stood it against the sinks. Then she slammed a door a few times, and ducked out of view.

Becca came peeking out of the stall. "Edoweird!" (sic!) she screamed, and threw herself around "Edward's" inflatable neck. "Yayyyy! I'm so happy to see youuuuu!" She started humping him. It was so gross that Rain couldn't stand watching it. She zoomed out of there at the speed of light.

Outside the school she vomited long and well, before getting into James' gloriosus Merc and driving back home.

Later that night she met up with Bella again to hear if Rebecca was scared shitless.

"Soooooo..?" Rain asked sociopathically. "Is she packing yet?"

"I don't know," Bella said. "She came home from school saying she had been stalked, and wanted Dad to do something. But he's kind of mad at her right now, because she came running home naked and said that Alice had shot the whole class, including me. He totally freaked, and was on his way to the hospital when I met him on the road. Bec's gone out again, apparently to arrange a jailbreak for Alice." She shook her head and sighed. "He was crying, Angie! I really hate seeing my Dad show emotion, because it doesn't suit him. He's a cop and such."

"I'll think of something," Rain promised her. "And don't call me Angie. Name's Rain, OK?"

She went home and they all watched a documentary about cannibals. Then Jessie had to go to sleep in the dog house with Frank and Ripp, while Rain and James DID IT gothically.

Suddenly... the TARDIS landed!


	3. Chapter 3

Suddenly the TARDIS landed! An Englishman came out of it.

"Oh," he said Enlighly. "Wrong place. Jolly sorry, chaps. Cheerio!"

The Tardis disappeared.

Rain was watching Downton Abbey with James and Ripp. It was so romantic and depressing, but she hated Lady Mary because she was a BITTTTCH!

"James," she said sadly. "I want to become a Victorian."

"We'll see about that, darling nightingale," James replied lovelyingly. "But first we need to get rid of that nightmare Rebecca."

"Maybe we can kill her with arsenic, like Vera," Rain suggested.

"But we promised Bella not to kill her," Jamwes protested. "I think we need that ponce Edward to help us with this. She likes him, doesn't she?"

"She drools over him like an inbred pug!" Rain exhonerated disgustedly. "He'll probably want to get rid of her as well. It's her fault Bella broke up with him too!"

They got in the car and drove to the Cullen house box in the woods. Esme opened the door.

"Hello, we are vegetarian vampiures!" Rain explained. "Can we talk to Edward Cullen?"

Esme looked suspectingly at them. "Who of you are Rebecca?" she said with poison.

"None of us are such a h00ker!" Rain spat sympathetically. "We need Edward's help to get rid of her without killing her. Because we don't kill people, only animals that are vegetables!"

"Alright," Esme hissed, puffing on a cigar, "You better come in. EDWARD PUT YOUR UNDERPANTS ON AND COME DOWNSTARIS! Your friends are here. NOT BELLA!"

Edward came bouncing down the stairs in ducky PJs and bunny slippers. "What do YOU want?" He asked in hostile manners. "Haven't you caused enough trouble?"

"We need your help to get rid of that bloody Rebecca!" Rain experimented. "You know you want her out of your sight."

"I do verily such sensations ammend," Edward replied. "When do we start?"

"As soon as school starts tomorrow," Rain commanded. "She is very crazy and dangerous, and nobody knows what she might do. Give her this knife, it has a fake blade, and tell her it's a lover's gift to protect herself from furries."

"Ah, but will this insiduous scheme function as intended?" Edward inquired askingly.

"Oh yes it will. She is très stupide," James Frenched. "I'll call my friend Laurent and my silly ex to meet us outside school. Then we will manipulate her into doing something rash."

"That's all fine and dandy," said Esme as she bammfed them out of the industrially designed house. "Edward needs a nap now, because he has a very important history lesson tomorrow. Unlike SOME who think school is a hobby."

"That was educational," Rain said as they walked to the car. They shared a bottle of Jack Daniels and went joyriding for the rest of the night.

In the morning they went to the school. Jessie went to class, while rain and James waited for Becca in the meadow with Laurence and Victoria. Bella told them that Rebecca hadn't been in all night, and was probably still waltzing about in the woods thinking it was the same days as before.

Suddenly they saw Rebecca. She was wearing clothes, thankgoodness: a pink princess costume that was five sizes too small, a cheap plastic tiara with rhinestones and purple fairy wings strapped to her back. She hopped around trying to turn creepies and crawlies into Edward with a ball-point pen with feathers. That's how stupid she was. Rain felt so much contempt that she nearly cried, because she had always wanted a proper wand.

Suddenly Rebecca saw them!

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKERS LOOKING AT, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?" Rebecca screamed in her disgusting voice that sounded like a fungus with constipation having diarrea.

"Bitch, please," James nonchalanted nonchalantingly. "We'll fuck you up."

"NO YOU WON'T!" Rebecca screamed. "BRING IT ON!"

She threw a rock towards James that missed by a mile. James fell to the ground pretending to be dead. Rain had to lay flat in the grass because she was laughing so hard.

"YOU FUCKERS! YOU ALL WANNA DEAD TOO?" Rebecca shouted ingramatically. "YOU ALL WANNA DYE TOO?"

She picked up a rock, and Victoria and Laurence pretended to be scared.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" they shouted and ran away.

"Good work, guys!" James said. "Now let's head to that bloody school to see what is going on!"

They ran into the school and arrived just as history class ended. Edward, Bella, Alice and Jessie were coming out of the classroom.

"What do we have next?" Rain asked, because she hadn't been to school for a year.

"Social studies," Bella explained. "Mr Szokolewski (A/N he's Polish) is going to talk about the dangers of FaceBook."

"Kawaii!" Rain said.

Suddenly...Rebecca came into the hall. She looked like she had been rolling in the mud.

"Who is that black girl you're talking to, Bella?" she asked.

Rain looked around, because she couldn't see any black girls talking to Bella. But then she realised that to Rebecca "goth" and "black" were probably the same ass and the same pancake. as they say in Norway. (A/N they say that in Norway.) Rebecca was obviously too stupid to recognize her.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Ta..nisha..shanqua."

"Are you mister Chocolove's daughter?" Rebecca asked, and made a face like she had a headache. Her brain probably wasn't used to be in action even for fail!logic. "Cuz you have weird name!"

"Yep, so I am," Rain lied.

"Do you know where Pedowerd is?" Rebecca asked, rubbing mud off her dress with someone's jacket.

"I'm not entirely SURE..." said Rain. "But if you meant EDWARD, then he's probably getting ready for PE."

Rebecca pissed off to find him, and the others went to the boring social studies class which was anything but interesting, and actually quite dull.

After class they met Edward in the hall. "Verily you were not kidding!" he said Shakespearianly. "She is as insane as Bedlam. I hath giveth her ye knife, but promptly she did turn it on my own self. She also kicketh Sam in the nuts for no good reason."

"But why was she in the boys' locker room?" Rain excavated detectively.

"The wee birds know," Edward sighed. "Sam hath been taken to hospitality. He may need a castration."

"Well, that sucks," said Rain.

Rebecca came running through the hall. She had lost one of her stupidly oversized combat boots somewhere.

"What does she want NOW?" Bella sighed.

"The moon," Rain said sarcastically.

"Nah, she thinks she IS the moon."

"Help me quick! I'm being hunted by rapists!" Rebecca screamed. "I went into the boys' locker room like you said to, and then a boy tried to flash at me. So then I kicked his dick and punched his nuts over nine times!" She paused to gasp for some air, and continued. "So then his friends came to try and rape me, and then Edoweird came and hugged me."

"What exactly is your problem?" Rain shouted.

"Well, Edoweird got a boner, so I stabbed him with my anti-rape knife and then ran."

"I think you ought to go and appologize!" Rain said sternly.

Rebecca's ugly face lit up in a pimply smile. "Oh that's a great idea! I'm gonna go and do that right now!"

Rain grabbed Bella's arm and dragged her out of earshot from the others. "

"Your cousin is a massacre just waiting to happen!" she said. "She is loony and dangerous, and you need to get her locked up as soon as possible!"

"I'll talk to my Dad tonight," Bella said. "We're going to have to get her professional help. She isn't going to take it well, though."

Rain turned on the old thought box. "Doesn't she think Alice is in jail?" she asked.

"Apparently," Bella said. "They haven't been in class together today, so she probably still thinks so."

"You need to make her think she's going to spring Alice from jail," said Rain. "If Edward tells her, she's sure to believe him."

BUT THEN...!


	4. Chapter 4

BUT THEN...

...English class started. They were all going to recite poems they were supposed to have written for the class. Rain cursed internally because she wasn't prepared at all, and since she was gothic and all emotional she was sure to be asked to read hers. If she'd had time to prepare herself, she would have written a masterpiece that would reduced the whole class to tears. Now she had missed a chance to shine, wich was a bummer.

Bella read her poem first. It was about how she thought it was hard to show emotion, and how that problem was eating her from the insides. The class clapped, and Mr. Szokolowski said that Bella had true talent. Of course... there was hardly a teacher who didn't like BELLA, Rain thought bitterly.

Then it was Rebecca's turn to read hers. (A/N: This is copy pasted from the original story.)

"let me tel a tail

o listen 2 me wale

abut how muhc my live rockz

i am 1 of dose

awsum and cool peeps

hu weres awsum cloesths

sumtimez i lisen 2 me wine

sumtimez i lisen 2 me dred

but i am luking up

cuz my life is geting up

am i jsut paranode

liek i sound!"

Everyone looked at Rebecca like she had just farted during a presidential inaugumentation. She bowed left and right, and said "Thank you! Thank you! I LOVE YOU, FOOOOOOOORKS!" then she went to sit on her chair again, oogling Edward googlingly.

"Thank you, Rebecca, that's enough," Mr. Szokilowski interjected. "Now we'll hear Edward's poem."

"AHEM," said Edward. "This is a wee poem in ye style of William Shakespeare, that I hath writteneth to a wench whom meaneth ye world to me." He stood up and started reciting dramaturgically:

"Thou art my fairy of magic rhyme

Like a starry night in springy time

When unicorns grazeth in ye fields of gold

And a special snowflake in a wynter so cold.

Thou art the hangman of my bleeding heart

Rusty nails in nights so dark

Grindeth my soul to smithereens

And I'm feeleth old."

Rebecca was swooning in her seat because she thougth the poem was obviously for her. Bella looked ashamed. And the rest of the class were giggling maliciously.

The school was over for the day, and the students all milled out of the institutional doors like ants who have located a lollipop. Rebecca came over to speak to Edward.

"So, Edoweird, what are we gonna do now that school is over today?" she pimpled adolescently.

"We must abide our time to go and rescue poor, wee Alice!" Edward said, making a sad puppy face. "She be suffering most dreadfully in her lonesome dungeon."

A lightbulb flickered above Rebecca's mostly empty head. But then it disappeared again.

"I hath a plan by the ready," Edward explained. "We must beget ourselves to thy homestead by evenfall, and we shall prevail."

"Awesome," Rebecca screached.

Edward took Rebecca away to keep her occupied, while Bella, Rain and James got into the Mercedes and drove to Charlie's house. They stopped at an army outlet along the way to get a bullet proof stab vest for Charlie, who probably had no idea what he was up against.

Charlie was washing the police car in the drive when they arrived.

"Dad!" cried Bella. "You need to help us. Rebecca is completely insane, and we need to get her mental help before she hurts anyone."

"The thought had occured to me," Charlie sighed. "I've been trying to help the kid the best I can, but I have failed." He looked very sad. "I'm a lousy father."

"You are NOT!" said Bella. "You are the best father anyone could ever have!" Then she kissed her dad on the cheek in front of her friends. Suddenly Rain missed her own parents. She wondered how they were doing, travelling the world freely.

"Here is the thing," she explained, handing Charlie the vest. "Rebecca thinks that you are holding Alice captive down at the nick. She's coming here later to steal the keys and liberate her. When she arrives, you need to stop her and keep her contained. Then we will call a friend of James', who runs a place where they can help girls like Rebecca."

"But why do I need a bullet proof vest?" Charlie increduloused. "She is just a little girl."

"She is capable of murder," said James solemnly. "At school today she tried to kill Edward, who she desires like other people desire oxymorogen. Sam Uley will have a career in the opera thanks to her. And she also thinks she has killed me already."

"We gave her a theatrical knife with a false blade," said Rain. "And Edward is bringing a paint gun with red cartridges. But we need to be sure in case she goes for heavier equipement. She thinks she's doing a jail break, remember."

They saw Edward's silver Volvo approach, and took cover indoors. Charlie insisted that Bella went to hide in the basement, while James and Rain hid in between the coats in the hallway wardrobe.

Edward pulled up in front of the house. From their hiding place it wasn't possible to see what was going on outside the window, but Rain's vampire ability was to see in her head what was going on when she thought about someone. (Her parents were in Hawaii, she had found out.)

Rebecca was coming out of the car. Edward had somehow managed to get all the mud and war paint washed off of her, and made her dress in a deceptively normal track suit she had probably borrowed from Alice's closet. She was still ugly as fuck, though!

The sight of Bella's old, well-used truck seemed to piss Rebecca off something grandiosa. She ran over to it, and kicked it with all her might with her bootless foot stupidly. There was a nasty crunch of toes breaking, and Rebecca howled in pain.

"Migh I suggest it would be wizer if thou left ye motorized vehicle by its lonesome?" Edward inquired politely.

"Wait, Edward," said Rebecca, as if she had suddenly remembered something obvious. "What if Chadley is in?"

"Who might Chadley be?" asked Edward.

Rebecca didn't hear the question, because she was busy whipping her hair back and forth for dramatic hero effect. Rain started laughing against James' shoulder.

Rebecca looked up at Edward, and her eyes had aquired quite a preposterous countenance. (A/N: thesarus FTW!)

"I just mean, what if he's there? That could be bad for us in all sorts of ways. What if he catches you trying to steal his keys? Then what, Edoweird?" Rebecca screamed. "I can't live without you, you FUCKING MOTHERSUCKER(sic)! STOP TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH ME!"

Edward looked at her like "WTF is wrong with her NOW?"

"Rebecca, thy uncle must hath ye keys," he said. "All we hath to do is to thief thy uncle's keys."

A face-splitting moronic grin appeared onto Rebecca's appalling visage, as if to say "GR8 ID!"

"I know what I must do, Edoweird," she said, and opened the front door.

James and Rain snuck soundlessly after her as she went into the livingroom. Charlie appeared in the kitchen door.

"Charlie, give me the keys, or I will fucking kill you!" Rebecca said threateningly. She pulled out a knife she had strapped to her back. Rain breathed a sigh of relief when she recognized the prop knife.

Charlie looked a bit unsure about what to do. Then he discovered the paint gun Edward had left on the table. He reached for it and aimed it at Rebecca.

"Rebecca," he said sternly. "Put down the knife. I will shoot if I have to."

Rebecca came a step closer.

"You are acting out of control," Charlie continued. "I can't let you continue like this. I'm not punishing you, I'm trying to help."

For a second it looked like Rebecca was going to give up. Then she lunged at Charlie and punched him in the face hard enough to distract him for a second. She stabbed him several times in the stomach, and Rain was glad they had brought the vest. Even if the blade was plastic and retractable, it would probably have hurt without it.

Charlie seized the girl by her arms and struggled to get control of her. The gun went off, and Rebecca's left arm was covered in red liquid. Surprisingly, it didn't make Rain feel particularly hungry. She and James ran out from their hiding place and helped Charlie restrain the frantic girl.

Rebecca didn't even appear to notice them. Her hateful gaze was fixed at Charlie, and she started to laugh. A laugh that was so manical and bonechilling it made Rain shiver to the core. She could tell it had the same effect on James and Charlie.

"HA HA, YOU FUCKER! YOU SHOT MY LEFT ARM, NOT MY RIGHT!" she shrieked, as her eyes rolled around in her skull. She was drooling and shaking all over, and Rain suspected that she was hallucinating.

"Her mind is crashing," James said seriously.

Charlie started shaking her violently. "Rebecca!" he shouted, "Stay with us! Come out of there! Don't go down this path! We can help you."

Suddenly the front door went up, and two men came running in. One was tall and lean with shaggy brown hair. The other was younger and shorter, blond and cheeky looking.

"I think we've got to her in time," the blond man said as he bent down next to Rebecca on the floor. "Hugo, have you got the shot ready?"

"Here," said the man called Hugo, and handed the other one a syringe filled with a clear, green liquid.

Hugo pulled up Rebecca's sleeve and injected the medicine. It worked quickly. After a few seconds Rebecca stopped struggling. The manical contortions disappeared from her face, and Rain could see that she actually looked quite ordinary. Not exactly beautiful, but not the monster she had seemed a few moments ago.

"What is wrong with her?" Charlie asked worried. "And who are you?"

"I'm Brian Hahnel from the FBI," explained the young man. "And this is Hugo Smith. He's from a special unit. Our friend James told us about this case. Your niece has got a very serious mental condition, Mr. Swan. It's got a long, difficult Latin name, but we mostly refer to it as "Sueitis", after the first known victim."

"It completely takes over the sufferers brain," Hugo continued. "Rebecca does no longer know who she is and what is going on around her. She will have had delusions of invincibility, and believed herself to be special or chosen in some way. It is important that she receives the proper psychiatric attention."

"Is she going to be allright?" asked Bella, who had come up from the basement. Edward had been keeping her company while she was hiding, and had his arm comfortingly around her shoulder.

"I think so," said Hugo. "We have had a very high success rate in the past. My own daughter has made a full recovery."

"She'll be taken good care of," said Brian. "There are several other girls her age at the facility, that are well on their way to getting back to their real selves. Ebony, Twila and Dally are inspiring cases, and can offer her a lot of support on her road back to life."

They put Rebecca on a stretcher, and took her away in what looked like an ambulace, except it was gothically black. Rain could hear Brian and Hugo discussing whether to put Rebecca with a girl named Marissa or one named Ariana.

EPILOGUE

"I'm glad Rebecca is going to be OK," said Rain as she was checking her inbox. "Oh, I have a mail from Mom."

"What is she saying?" James asked. "Hawaii still treating them well?"

"Yes and no," Rain said with a funny expression. "They have been deported."

"Huh?" asked Jessie, who was watching _Bones_, "What did they do?"

"Apparently, they have caused the extinction of the Hawaiian blue-nosed wombat," Rain sighed. "It tasted like pineapple daquiry, their favourite drink. The VBI (Vampire Bureau of Investigation) are sending them to Australia for punishment, and they will have to remain there until the rabbit population is under control. I am SO ashamed of my parents that I don't even know what to say!"

"I know a guy who has a time machine," said James thoughtfully. "We could go back in time and retrieve a few breeding specimens. Then we can reintroduce them to their native habitat, and be famous as the people who discovered it wasn't actually extinct!"

"Hooray!" shouted Rain. "We're gonna be so stinking rich! Oh, can we build a new house in the woods? One that looks more like Downton Abbey? Oh, and can we rescue the thylacines as well?" (A/N: They are the animals in my avatar!)

"Sure," said James. "And maybe we should all go on a long vacation. I think we deserve that after this commotion. Your parents may need some help with those rabbits, eh?"

"Kawaii!" shouted Rain.

And so concludes the Rebecca Swansin arc of Rain's gothic chronicals. But who knows what adventures lie ahead for our intrepid heroes.


End file.
